She wanted something else, something different, something more. Passion n romance, perhaps, or maybe quiet conversations…
Something that can define her, something that is as passionate as her and still innocent…
Something that can make her soul move, something very subtle yet fervent and maybe insanely beautiful, sensual & perilous…
Or maybe everything she ever dreamt of, passion, peril, beautiful and everything that can make her feel alive…
Or nothing at all!!
There was a wild, lawless charm about the night that appealed to a certain wild, lawless strain deep in her nature—the strain of the gypsy, of wanderer and the poet. And that wildness in her seem so untamed and outrageous that it made her unearthly.
She is too quiet, or she is too loud.
She took things too seriously, or not seriously at all.
She is too sensitive, or too cold-hearted.
She hated with every fibre of her being, or loved with every piece of her heart.
There is no in-between for her. It was either all or nothing.
She wanted everything but settled for nothing..!!
First of all I want to apologize for my absence here. A lot is happening, so I’m a bit occupied. But still something told me that I should not stop writing. It’s the only thing that keeps me happy and content.
Dreams. What a magnificent word it is. Here I’m, again, after a long time writing about something we all know. No I’m not talking about the dreams we see while we are sleeping, I’m talking about the ones we see when we are wide awake, may be something that wouldn’t let us sleep. We all have dreams, dreams to become successful or to achieve something. I’m no exception to that, even I have dreams but of different sort. May be that’s a problem or maybe that’s the reason I’m always on a move. But I don’t mind any of it, nor my dreams, neither the problems I face…
People often ask me what sort of dreams I have and mostly I stay silent or say something that they expect me to say that I have a dream of becoming successful. Sounds good but it’s so abstract. I can define success in my own terms and you all can in your own ways.
Today when my dad asked me what I want to do or what I dream of becoming, I felt like saying out loud the dreams I have. But instead I decided to stay silent. I sometimes feel that in this practical world my dreams are so naïve or may be out of the world, and then I think that, when was the last time I did something that everyone understood easily. So it’s only normal to have these kinda dreams I guess.
In this practical world it’s difficult to stay what you are actually. Where everyone is trying to bend you and make you something they want you to be. Society doesn’t recognize dissimilar things and hence they fail to accept it. If your dreams are of becoming the richest person it’s accepted easily, how much so ever unrealistic it may be? But still it’s acceptable. You know why? Because they already know about it. It’s something very much similar or commonly heard things these days. But if you say something that they don’t understand then either you are an imprudent person or you don’t understand your own self. Just because you don’t have dreams like your siblings have or like your friends have you are irrational or you don’t know what you want. How convenient I must say!! Either you do what we say or we will mark you as a foolish person and gradually we will throw you out of society.
Again I would like to say that the problem is that, in the world where people want you to be like them how will you preserve your uniqueness? Or you will give in to the rate race? Or you will lose yourself in the process of decision making? Or you will give up your “foolish” and “imprudent” dreams?
I will continue this in next post of mine… till then think about it!!