Beyond the gates of Despair…


As soon as I open my sleepy eyes, your angular yet handsome face is all over my mind. Then after a while I realized the reason of you taking charge of my mind after so long is just a dream. Not to mention it makes me feel only good. I try to move my hand and open my eyes entirely, and after struggling for a while I succeed. I’m still too sleepy to wake up, but I know that it worthless to try and sleep again. Even through dreams you dominate me, and want me to wake up early (I laugh into my mind remembering a memory from the past). I’m groggy but I wake up and first thing I do is find my mobile, my mind is struggling to read things on wide screen. Somehow my drowsy eyes find your number and before I think much about it your number is being dialed and I hear the ring on other side, so it’s pointless to hang up. The train of my thoughts comes to a halt as soon as I hear the ringing sound from other side. Somewhere in my mind I didn’t want you to pick up the call and I also feel like talking to you. It seems like ages since we talked last, again memories from the past are rushing into my mind and I hear pre-recorded message that you’re unable to take my call. Okay so now I know you’re busy for the most part, or you don’t want to take the call. Either way I can’t do much about it. So now it’s my decision that I want to sleep more or wake up early. After a while I decide it’s best to wake up and get shower; so I feel a bit fresh and best way to get rid of you.

I can’t stop myself from thinking about you and again the train of thoughts has started. Memories are rushing into my mind, the first time I saw you and the way I felt something instantaneously, then the confusion about approaching you and lots of other things. Now I’m sure that it would be a futile effort to get purge of all these memories. So instead of giving it another try I surrender. Now I give you charge of my mind again, and I admit it wasn’t bad at all.

I start with my daily chores and continue with the memories from the past. I’m smiling again, while thinking how I use to love seeing you. Lectures were boring but your charm use to make those tedious lectures fascinating. The way I use to notice your every move, and then try to see if someone has noticed haha!!! Those days were pretty exciting days I must say. But nothing is permanent, neither was this relation.

I approached him and things worked out. But only to find out later on that we were totally different individuals, so staying together was somehow not possible. He was pretty serious but still it didn’t work out. What I liked about him the most is he never gave me any memory that makes me feel gloomy.  It all ended on happy note and we are still friends. He is happily married and still we talk once in a while. I’m content about the way it ended, no hard feelings, no drama, nothing. Just a sweet little goodbye and he was gone.

A few relations are never meant to be, but they teach you so many things. This relation taught me to let go off people you love, without troubling them, coz it’s not working. The memories of this relation or memories of him only make me smile. I’m still smiling and waiting for him to call back lol. And I guess will continue with my routine as it’s time to rush!!

Hope you all will enjoy reading this post, the way I enjoyed writing. J