Ageless Darkness…

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And the darkness wrapped its arms around me,

Shadows are all I can see…

Crawling and growling they take up all the light,

And oh it’s going to be the longest night…

I hear voices and they are mocking me,

And telling me obscurity is what they foresee…

I can feel my senses vanishing,

Alas there is no way perishing…

The hope for redemption was worthless,

Because the darkness in me is now ageless…

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Love & Dreams

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LOVE…

A lot has been written on this one word in history and great philosophers, authors will keep writing on it in future also. The feeling of being in love is simply beautiful and beyond words. The word has a broad meaning, it isn’t limited to just a guy and a gal in love. Love can be between a father and a daughter or mother and a son or between two friends or a person and his dreams. A person can be in love with his dreams, in love with all the things he wants to do in life or accomplish in life. But sadly we limit ourselves to something specific and refuse to see beyond that.

Love and dreams, these both words are too much to be combined in one topic. But here I am, combining the two most complicated yet simple words together and trying to make some sense out of it. I have written on dreams before this also, but it wasn’t enough, it wasn’t all I had in my mind. But at that time I couldn’t think of a way to express my dreams and love for my dreams in a better way. So I left the post to complete it later on, so someday like this, when I can write a bit more about the dreams and my love for it.

So now let me rephrase it:

LOVE & DREAMS

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I have always been in love with my dreams, with the things I want to achieve in my life, with all those arbitrary thoughts which keeps me going in the times when it’s impossible to move forward. My dreams have always been my greatest source of inspiration for me. Without my dreams and love for those random things, I cease to exist.

As a kid I use to dream of becoming an independent and successful lady who can support herself in every possible ways and also support her parents. But as I grew up things started changing and so did my dreams. Gradually a drastic change took place and replaced my complicated dreams with very simple ones, or maybe simple dreams with complicated ones. Well I leave that up to you to decide that which is which. As goes for me, my dreams were always simple for me or complicated for me. It depends how I prefer to see them. At times they were complicated and after a while they are the most unpretentious of things I have ever had.

So as I grew up my dreams of becoming an independent and successful lady changed a bit (haha pardon me for a bit of sarcasm). When I saw things, oh let me rephrase it, when I saw reality I realized that being financially independent and successful isn’t what I want. I realized that money is not something that can make you happy, one can be happy even without it. So priorities started changing gradually. I realized that being successful might sound amazing but it rarely gives you satisfaction. I realized that happiness is like a trap and I don’t fall into that trap anymore, what I seek is self-satisfaction. I can be happy but the feeling won’t last if I am not satisfied with my own self. As soon as I realized this, things started changing, and the change was much needed.

My dreams started taking totally different shape, though it was tough to accept such a huge change but well resisting it was never an option for me. So I preferred to go with the flow and change myself according to my dreams. Shaping up my life around the changed dreams was never an easy task.

The gal who used to dream of being successful, now don’t prefer success; Or rather now don’t go after success. The gal who dreamt of being financially independent now doesn’t think about it at all. Now my dreams are very simple I guess, for me it’s very simple but the norms of our society doesn’t accept such simple dreams. Our society accepts the unattainable dreams but simple dreams are not acknowledged here. When I say out loud what my dreams are, either people laugh at me or they just think it’s insane to even think of such things or to dream of such things.

I remember writing that I was discussing my dreams with my dad, he asked me about my dreams one fine day and after listening to my reply he just got up and left. So yeah he curiously asked me, what I dream of becoming, I simply said nothing. He was confused that I dream of nothing, how is that possible for any person. So I simplified, I said I dream of becoming nothing. I now dream of achieving nothing. Achievements bring happiness, happiness that is momentary. As soon as I achieve something the happiness I feel for the thing starts fading. For a while I am happy but then the cause is over so the reason for being happy is over. So I run after something else, and set my happiness in that. But the run never get over because I keep on setting new goals and targets so I can be happy after achieving them. It is like that vicious circle which has no end to it.

So I decided that I don’t want to achieve anything. I dream of simply being nothing, being part of some random crowd, roam around different places, meet different people, see amazing things, experience something weird, see different culture, new environment and then move to another place and start over. Earn what is needed, not more, not less, help other people often and be satisfied. There is nothing to attain, nothing to lose. Simple and very normal life, that’s what I dream of…