Story of my life

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Too many books I want to read, and so little time…. I always run short on time when it comes to reading books.

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LOVE

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Love is teeth and claws, makes us bleed and gnaws…

Makes us quiver and shake, makes us whole, makes us break…

Takes our soul, takes our mind, makes us mean, makes us kind…

Leaves us breathless, gasping for air, leaves lovely knots in our hair…

Makes us smile, makes us frown, makes us feel like queen/king or clown…

Love is a many splendid thing; it twists and bends, pushes our buttons, touches our skin…

Makes us high or plummets us low, depending on the seeds we sow…!!

P.A.I.N.

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PAIN.

The word itself incursions so many things in your mind at once. It’s capable of reminding you those things which you have already left behind and moved on. Just a small, simple word can make you go through your personal hell again and again. Without even making you realize that you are already there. I’m sure the memories are already dancing in front of your eyes. It’s physical and emotional. It’s everything you can imagine and you cannot imagine. A word that does not need any prior introduction. Everyone knows this word since the time they were born. Hell it’s even painful to come out of the womb and adapt to the environment of this mean yet beautiful universe. May be that’s why a baby cries as soon as it’s born, because it’s painful. The first emotion we feel as soon as we step into this universe is this word, PAIN.

What actually is PAIN? Have you ever tried to define it? Sometimes the simplest words are hard to define.  Sometimes it’s our mind that complicate most of the things and maybe that’s why we can’t define it!! It is most simple emotion yet the most complicated one… We often hear people asking us if it’s the most painful moment for you, I never say it is most painful, because you never know what is waiting for you round the corner. There is always worse waiting for you at any moment. So there is nothing such as most painful thing, because you never know what is next!!

PAIN for me is the strongest emotion; the thought of it makes me cringe.

Like when you see your dreams shattering – every bit of it and the way each of those pieces prickle in your eyes and the void you feel inside is the way I define PAIN.

Like the day you had your first heartbreak and you didn’t know what to feel and how to deal with it. The vagueness you feel inside is the way I define PAIN.

Like when you faced your failure for the first time and it was hard to accept that you failed. The feeling that you will never succeed again, the numbness that makes you go crazy is how I define PAIN.

Like in that uncertain moment, when you are unsure if your new born sister will live or not, the way she looks, unaware of everything even her own death and the way you feel darkness surrounding you in that moment is the way I define PAIN.

Like the way you feel when every relation feels fake and every emotion is deceiving you, and all you feel is the rage inside you, the rage to burn the world into ashes, that feeling of outrageousness is something I define as PAIN.

Like the way you feel you have been used by the one of your most loved person, that feeling of being treated as trash is what I define as PAIN.

Like the way you feel when you see the perfect family shattering and you can do nothing about it. That feeling of helplessness is what I define as PAIN.

Like the way you cannot trust the person you love because you’ve been deceived and cheated very gravely, that feeling when all you want to do is run away and hide and never come back, I define it as PAIN.

All these are moments that define pain according to me; this is how I define pain, when you can only feel pain and nothing else. The pain that makes you go numb and takes away everything from you that you love or like. Psychiatrists says that pain is imaginary, it is something that we create in our mind, philosophers says pain is inevitable but suffering isn’t… but when you’re in pain you can’t escape from suffering, because pain is capable of taking all the rationality out of you. So at some point even suffering is inevitable that’s what I’ve gathered from what I’ve been through. And pain is like that vicious circle which has no end to it. It is endless, it is inevitable, it is something you can never turn your back on, something which will make you learn toughest lessons of life, and at some point it will make you realize the value of the blissful moments.

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